First Guitar Video: Attempting to Play Free Fallin’

Don’t make too much fun- a few weeks ago I didn’t know a single chord. I’m pretty proud that I know this song now. Working on a couple other songs too – I figured out pretty quickly that I get the chords memorized a lot faster when they actually go with songs.

Hoping to eventually get a full concert set together of music on guitar, piano and harp.

I’m ambitious. : )

A Dinosaur from Erianny: Sponsoring a Child in Poverty

I don’t know if I ever mentioned it before, but I sponsor a little girl in the Dominican Republic through Compassion International. The approximately $400 I donate a year helps feed Erianny, send her to school, and takes care of her family. Although I’m a pretty poor college student dependent on my parents’ love right now, even I can pull that much money together.

She’s four years old and adorable. She can’t write yet but sends letters to me with the help of an adult and a translator- she signs the letters with her fingerprints in blue ink. She calls me Aunt Rachael and has told me that she likes apples and taking care of red flowers.

I won’t post any pictures of her up because I don’t want to endanger her in any way, but here’s a picture of a dinosaur she sent me. It’s too cool!

I was inspired to first sponsor Erianny last October after Lutheran Campus Ministry at George Mason University had a weekend retreat that looked at the effect of hunger and poverty on our world.

At the time, I did have a close friend try to discourage me from doing the sponsorship, as he said that it didn’t really do anything to solve the greater problem. However, I decided I wanted to do something that would have an effect on the world, no matter how small. My sister sponsored a little girl in Africa for a long time named Aziza.

I write her letters online because I’m pretty bad about actually mailing out letters, but I hope to send her some pictures of me soon.

I know it’s random, but I know it’s something little I do that fulfills me and makes me feel like I have a positive effect on the world.

: )

Too Freaking Cool! One of my Photos on a Book Cover!

I got this today in the mail…

I think I mentioned before that one of my photos from the McCain-Palin rally in Fairfax was going to be on a book cover. Well, the book is out now, and it looks great! The section in Red is from the photo I took.

Check that out! Go Mason Votes!

And the book is even available on Amazon! Too awesome!

I’m really excited about reading the book as well- it looks really interesting!

I totally have to attribute this awesomeness to the wonder of Creative Commons licensing. It’s been REALLY good to me! I plan to continue using it for all my photographs. : )

Less Nurturing than a Desert: On Babies and Cactuses

I am less nurturing than a desert.

A friend of mine helpflly told me this after I had successively killed two cacti. My first one, Nick, was an adorable little red bubble of a cactus that was part of the decorations at one of my sister’s college flute recitals. I loved him and took care of him, but when my family was on vacation, a babysitter overwatered him. He turned into sort of this blubbering fluberrish mess and I eventually had to throw him out on the compost pile.

My mom got my second cactus for me, Nicky, when I went away to college. She was tiny and feminine and small, with a green stalk and a small round red spiky head. I thought she was beautiful and presented her as a favorite object in my academic program’s grown up show and tell on a retreat. I remember when all the older kids helped bring my stuff into my college dorm freshman year, they swarmed around my parent’s van like flies, picking off bits until there was nothing left. I remember one boy carried in Nicky alone, as everything had already been taken up. She entered college proudly, like a queen.

Nicky was very important to me- reminding me of my family’s love and all that, but when you’re in a cramped freshman dorm, you sometimes lose track of the important things. She lived on our microwave for a while, then another set of shelves, but always seemed to be constantly falling over and having all her dirt fall out. I eventually ended up killing her through my lack of notice for her malnutrition. I posted an ode to her death on Facebook somewhere.

It was then that it was announced I was less nurturing than a desert.

When I found out I would have two beautiful nieces, I was out of my mind with excitement, but also full of trepidation. I love babies, but they scare me. They are so small, warm and soft. What if I break them? What if I hurt them? They wouldn’t be able to tell me what I did wrong- they are so helpless. In the past, I’ve avoided holding babies whenever possible. I hardly knew how to and I certainly didn’t want to do something wrong.

But these moments are so precious- how could I possibly miss out on them? Whatever risk I took, I knew it was worth conquering my fear.

I remember sitting next to Justus, my cousin’s little boy, on the couch at Thanksgiving the first year of his life. He was just a little over a month old. He was small and wonderful and I just loved looking at his face and his gorgeous brown eyes. Together, we “watched” the Cowboys game, my grandpa on his green chair nearby. I could tell he liked it by the way his eyes moved.

And I couldn’t help but think to myself as I held my sister’s little girl that children are infinitely more complicated than cactuses. Life is beautiful, but hard- looking at them, I see all the things that will try to hurt and bruise them in the future. I find my common sense overcome with this driving need to build a fence around them so they will never be teased on the playground, never cry over a bad grade, never have their hearts broken. But I can’t do that for them- life is too precious to risk missing.

As an aunt, I’m lucky to be separated off a bit, so if I screw up at all, it won’t be as damaging to these little ones. But I don’t want to screw up. I don’t want a second chance. The thought that I will always be in the lives of these little girls leaves me honored and awestruck. It’s a sacred responsibility that truly makes me want to be a better person.

I want to cheer them on as they try to learn to walk, learn to talk. I want them to love me as I love them and run into my arms when I hold them out. I want to write them songs about giraffes and fish and monkeys in trees. I want to have them over for sleepovers and introduce them to all my favorite bands. I want to be there for them when they’re teenagers if there’s ever anything they feel they can’t talk to their parents about. I want to be a cool aunt they will always think of when they’re bragging to their friends.

For someone less nurturing than a desert, I have a lot of work to do. I know I’ll get this right. They’re worth it.

Hamburger Slider Cupcakes and A Pretty Guitar Case

I made cupcakes in the shape of sliders for Father’s Day. My dad wasn’t particularly happy with me taking a picture of him.

Essentially- I made vanilla cupcakes and chocolate cupcakes and sliced them to make sliders. I made red icing for ketchup and green icing for lettuce/pickles. The red icing did come out a little pink….

Also, I took an old guitar case that my sister and I had completely plastered with stickers (that peeled off the covering when I took them off) and made it pretty after several attempts with wrapping paper and various forms of glue.

Check it out!

I think it came out pretty well. : )

“AnchorGirl”: Relearning How to Talk On Camera

At this point, my boss produces six newscasts a week for local areas around Dallas- Allen, Frisco, McKinney, Mesquite, Plano and Rowlett. They go up daily from Monday to Friday.

I’ve anchored the newscast at my job twice now. It’s so much fun getting to work with so many parts of the newscast! Depending on whatever my boss needs me to do, I get to write and edit, set up the camera and record them, anchor, and edit the videos for online. I will probably be anchoring every Friday and editing the videos every Wednesday from now on until the end of my internship.

First time I anchored the newscast I was scared out of my MIND. I didn’t smile and I looked pale as anything. I still think I did okay though.

Second time I did a lot better and smiled more. I was really proud of how I did. (Ignore the fact that my name is spelled wrong- sadly, it’s something I’ve dealt with my entire life).

Anchoring is much harder than I thought it would be! I mean, you’re just talking- on camera. I’ve been doing that since I was a toddler- how hard can it be? Somehow all the extra pressure and the camera pointed at you and the fact that you’re actually reading news scripts though- makes it so much harder.

I try to keep a couple things in mind while I’m anchoring, particularly a few tips my boss has given me.

• I always read over the newscast first and make sure the paragraphs make sense. It also helps me to write out how I actually say words, so instead of $1 million, I write, One million dollars.
• I use a much more authoritative voice than is usual, as if I really know what I’m talking about.
• I work to talk at a medium speed- quickly enough that I can be followed but slowly enough that I say all the words correctly.
• If I find a name I’m unfamiliar with, I come up with a good way to pronounce it and say it as confidently as possible.
• I try to smile during the newscast but keep my head still at the same time- if it shakes around it’s harder to edit the green screen out later.
• My boss has advised me to have different tones of voice for stories with different emotional effects. For example- in one newscast, I had to read an announcement about the death of a young boy- I used a much slower and more serious tone.

Here’s an example of one of my favorite videos I’ve edited so far- the second announcement relates to a story I did on a family country band out in Sunnyvale. I had fun editing the music so it would play behind Ann Marie and then rise up to be louder in the space after she talked.

Wee, I love learning new things. : )

Pop Quiz: Spanking = Child Abuse: True or False?

If this is true, my parents are child abusers.

Let that sink in for a second.

My parents are pretty darn cool. Very smart. Pretty collected. Not really the type to lose their tempers easily.

I, on the other hand, was a very bratty kid growing up. I was attention-hogging, story-telling, smart-alecy, thought-I-knew-everything, nose-for-trouble kid. I mean, not more than is regular- I got a detention twice in my entire school career from first to 12th grade. I never went to prison or burnt anything up (well okay, my friend and I did burn a hole in his backyard fence with matches, but we didn’t get in trouble for it).

But I was high-energy, smart, and mischievous- I must have been quite the trial for my parents. However, I don’t remember being spanked more than a few times as a kid. I much more remember being grounded or made to sit in a time out or banned from TV or something. Spanking was always a last resort- it was quite humiliating for me. My parents never used a belt or anything, just a flat hand, and never spanked me hard enough to leave a bruise. It didn’t really hurt that much, it was more the crying and screaming from embarrassment that left me so red. And it definitely worked to make me behave.

Because my parents spanked me, should they be decried as child abusers?

Apparently, there’re quite a lot of people out there that think so. The recent outcry over Kate Gosselin’s spanking of one of her girls illustrates that pretty clearly.

There was a hearing last year in Wisconsin that drew a fair amount of media coverage for its start- but really none of its final verdict. Pastor Barry Barnett spanked his 12-year old son with a paddle for lying repeatedly to his parents- a teacher of one of the boy’s siblings reported the incident to social services. Apparently the spanking left four-inch bruises on each of the child’s cheeks. Barnett was tried on charges of felony child abuse for the act, which if he was found guilty, could result in up to three years in prison and up to $10,000 in fines. Interestingly enough, Barnett had used the paddle on another one of his children back in 2007. The Columbia County Sheriff’s Department confiscated the paddle at that time and did not press charges.

It appears that as of this time, the case has not gone to trial. I’m trying to find out a bit more information about when it will so I can follow it.

I gleaned from the various articles on the case, that Wisconsin has some pretty strict rules on how to define physical child abuse. To prove the charge, Wisconsin law requires three elements to be satisfied:

• That the defendant caused “bodily harm” – pain or injury, illness, or any impairment of the physical condition – to the child.
• That the defendant intended to cause such harm.
• That the child is younger than age 18.

James Murphy, an emergency medicine physician at Divine Savior Healthcare, who testified for the defense, was quoted in this article as saying that, with the definition of “bodily harm” in Wisconsin statutes- of causing pain – “everyone is a perpetrator of child abuse.”

It also depends on what is considered “reasonable discipline,” based on the age and gender of the child, the extent of the discipline, and the circumstances of the entire punishment, the article says. I don’t really get how gender affects the punishment- should a little boy and a little girl who both act out in the same way be treated differently? That’s strange.

While looking through the Wisconsin Court Database, I found quite a lot of other cases from over the years that deal with the difference between child abuse and spanking. It’s clearly something people are really back and forth on.

It feels like there should be a really simple answer to whether spanking is child abuse or not, but it’s not.

I also spoke with my mother on this subject- she said straight out that she thinks spanking can be done right, under specific circumstances. I really liked the rules she came up with – they seem pretty sensible to me.

My mom’s guidelines for spanking:

• Spanking should only be used as a deterrent for small children who are really too young to be reasoned with. My mom personally didn’t think it was a good idea for kids who are over 5, say, to be spanked, as they can be disciplined in other ways through groundings, timeouts, taking away of television privileges, etc.
• Spanking should only be administered in an immediate case where the child’s misbehavior could be dangerous. Madre’s example was- if, say, a three-year old ran out into the street after his mother had told him not to. It would be a good idea actually for the mother to chase him down, grab him, and give him a quick swat on the behind to teach him not to do that- especially since such an action could put the child in danger.
• Spanking should not occur while the parent is angry or upset.
• And as my mom commented on the case I spoke about earlier, spanking a child with an object is pretty much not going to be condoned by any children’s agency. Spankings should only be with a flat hand.

I got a few other opinions from people via Facebook that I thought added some interesting thoughts to the discussion.

My beautimous sister, Karen, said straight up that she thought the idea that spanking was child abuse was ridiculous.

Alejandro Asin, a student at George Mason University, said: “I think it’s going too far. They should try talking and encouraging kids to do good things instead.”

Katie Bredholt, also a student at George Mason University, said: “I think a spanking is good now and then… but the parent shouldn’t do it out of anger. Instead, it gets the point across if it is used sparingly and responsibly.”

Then Cheryl Meyer, a Dallas-area architect, parent, and member of my church, said some very wise words. “You’ve got to find what an individual kid will respond to. Sometimes talking, reasoning, time outs don’t get the job done. I’m a believer in spanking. But it doesn’t work for all kids, and shouldn’t be used lightly. And spanking a kid doesn’t mean beating them. That’s different altogether. Just MHO. I raised one kid, and basically raised much younger siblings.”

Then Cheryl added some very humorous words as well- “…And I’ve watched J&K+8, and both of those older girls could probably use a thumping, I’m thinking! Lots of drama! Geez.”

I’ve thought about this a lot actually while doing all my reading. Though my initial and continual opinion is that I was not abused as a child, I can understand the ideas behind such protests. It does not seem right to hit a child under any circumstance. Why should fear be a driving force behind discipline? And if we try to teach our kids not to hit, why should we hit them?

I think what it really comes down to is- even if spanking is something that makes me uncomfortable, because I have not been a parent, I don’t feel properly prepared to judge those who do spank their children. I know I am certainly not perfect, and I’ll have to confess to wanting to smack a small child throwing a temper tantrum in the public place I’m in on more than one occasion. I can understand the impulse, even if I have not personally done so myself.

I would love to hear more opinions on this. : D

Dear Mom and Dad,

I <3 you more than cupcakes and I don’t think you abused me as a child by spanking me. Please don’t hate me for using this example to make a point.

Eye Lava Ewe,

Rachael (daughter 2)

Summer Time Blues: Dealing with Depression

I’m not certain how widely this fact is known- I don’t tend to disseminate it too much on my own. I have depression. It was first diagnosed my junior year of high school. It’s tied closely to my ADD- the more organized my life feels, the less I feel depressed, usually. That’s why I have so many neurotic habits and “tics”.

I am on medication which helps me deal with the ADD- which, despite some opinions out there, is a real disorder that wasn’t just made up by parents wanting to dose their kids with meds so they’ll be quiet (though this DOES happen and it IS wrong). I myself used to think this as a smart alec preteen. Now, well, I know differently. People with ADD have been shown to have brains that actually develop and react differently than those without it. There’s actually a really cool theory out there that ADD originally evolved as a survival technique to distinguish hunters from gatherers. I know that my ADD likely contributed to the traits that help me as a reporter- high energy, creativity, attention to detail, and of course, hyperfocusing- a totally cool symptom which allows people with ADD to focus intently on activities that interest them. This can be bad though- particularly one bad incident when, I, after a few weeks without ADD meds, hyperfocused on getting a friend stuffed animal otters for a birthday party instead of finishing a news story…

If I don’t have my ADD medicine for a long time, I turn into a mess. A day where I forget to take it isn’t a problem, but a lengthy extended time without it gets really chaotic. I’m not proud of this and I hope eventually to wean myself off the medicine, but right now, I know I need it.

Sometimes however, even with the medicine, I get very depressed and it’s difficult to get out of. It’s hard to describe- it’s like I’m too tired to do anything- everything seems like too much of an effort- and everyone, in my mind, hates me and is against me. It’s really hard to be nice sometimes when it’s all I can do to get out of bed in the morning.

I’ve recently had a bad patch of it- I think due to a lot of things- the removal of the stimulation I had daily in London and the changing of scenery from something really exciting to something not quite as so (read: Dallas isn’t so exciting). Plus the change from having four roommates my own age to hang out with and talk to about everything to living with my parents for the first time in two years has been intense. Then there’s the simple fact that here in Texas, I don’t walk around as much or get outside as much- it’s very much a driving society so I drive everywhere. As exercise is a proven way of keeping both ADD and depression under control, this change has definitely contributed. Of course there’s other stuff as well I’d rather not get into.

Depression has this stigma with our society. I have to admit I’m afraid to post this up here in some ways- afraid that it’ll keep someone in the future from hiring me, or make my friends not want to be around me anymore. I don’t want to dwell on this- but it’s happened before- it was a very lonely, isolating time. It’s hard for me to blame them in some ways though- depression is a very selfish disorder that doesn’t leave a lot of room for being friendly.

I remember how angry I was once when a guy in one of my classes said that he wouldn’t hire someone for a job if he found out they had depression. It was such an ignorant, awful thing to say. Depression is a real disorder that does cause problems, but with a lot of work, can be kept under control. I think I’ve done well with living a normal, happy, productive life, despite my recurring depression. The most obvious part to people outside my family of this most recent patch is my lack of desire to update my blog as much as I usually do, despite having tons of ideas for posts on the Iranian Revolution, Carrie Prejean, Jon and Kate Plus Eight, bioethics and law.

I’ve found a number of things that help me deal with the depression on a daily basis.

• It’s good to have a list of projects to work on- I’m currently working on decoupaging my old ratty guitar case with wrapping paper (it looks cool!), teaching myself “Free Fallin’” and “American Pie” on guitar, making a rug out of old t-shirts, stripping the paint off of a chair so I can paint it green, and slowly working my way through all the stuff in my room I’d like to donate. It seems like a LOT- and it is, but that way I always have something to do if I need it.
• Baking really helps me a lot. I love making sweet things while listening to music or watching stupid TV shows.
• Every time I walk outside of my house, I dress to impress. I usually wear skirts and high heels and try to match my accessories carefully. Yes, it takes me longer to get out of the door in the morning- but it works wonders for my self-esteem to be able to look in the mirror and say- damn you look good.
• It’s also nice sometimes to just sit and watch some Hulu. I love me some comedy. I’m currently rewatching all of Arrested Development.
• The one thing I REALLY should be doing that I’m totally not is exercising regularly. Exercise actually does a lot to combat depression. So does eating healthy. Comfort food, as wonderful as it is, does nothing to help the underlying problem.
• Listening to music chases away so many demons I can’t even explain it. Whenever I was pissed off or stressed about something in London, I’d put on some music and try to chill out. I do the same thing here- if I’m starting to stress about something, I crank up some Santana and sing and dance until before I know it, I’m feeling better.
• Being around people- hanging out with people. I am not always the most social person, but I love doing things and seeing people and joking around.
• I have found out recently that I absolutely have to get enough sleep at night- at least 6 hours. If I get less than that- I literally like, lose my will to move or do anything in the morning, and I basically end up in bed all day. It’s awful.
• And my newest tool for fighting off depression- holding a baby. It’s really hard to be depressed when I’m holding one of my nieces in my arms. Babies are just so beautiful and helpless that it’s hard to concentrate on your own problems when you’re just caught up in the wonder. (Please realize this comment bears absolutely no relevance to post-partum depression)
• And occasionally, doing something really randomly impulsive just because you’re sad and you want a change works too. : )

Pictures of my new hair color-

Before- The first time my hair had been its completely natural hair color in probably two years. I did it to see what it would look like, and then figured out that I don’t really like my own hair color that much. It’s kinda indecisive on whether its dark blonde, light brown, or kinda red. It’s so weird.

After! I tried to dye my hair blonde- or “warm medium golden blonde”, and well, it came out this color. Fairly ginger yeah? It’s not the light in the room- it really came out this strawberry blonde. I guess there’s more red in my hair than I think! Hah.

Let’s just say this is not the first of my impulsive hair changes…I could post a really funny photo gallery of some of my more interesting hair dye choices. Nothing crazy like Pink or anything (though I’d love to do that sometime), but still pretty humorous results. : P

DC Elections Board Says Putting Gay Marriage Recognition to a Vote Violates Human Rights

I know it’s an awkward headline but can you think of a better way to summarize this decision? Tell me if you can- it’s important news and GOOD news for gay marriage advocates.

This story just came out of Washington, DC today.

The DC Council approved a measure to recognize legal gay marriages performed in other states back in May. In early June, a group of ministers pushed for the Council to put the measure to a referendum for voters.

However, the DC Elections Board refused to put it to a referendum, citing District elections law that a referendum cannot appear on the ballot if it violates DC’s 1977 Human Rights Act, which prohibits discrimination against gays, lesbians and other minority groups. The bill will become law in early July.

This is huge. The DC Elections Board basically just came out and said that it is a violation of human rights for voters to refuse to grant gays and lesbians the right or recognition of marriage, something gay activists have been saying for months and years. It’s a ruling sure to excite and piss off many. It should be really really interesting to see what happens after this- this seems to be the year of Gay Marriage, after all.

Gay Marriage is now legal and practiced in Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa. Gay marriages will begin in Vermont and Maine in September. Gay marriages will begin in New Hampshire in January.

I wonder how much of the current push towards legalizing Gay Marriage would exist if Proposition 8 had perhaps failed in California. People were so shocked and upset about its passage that they were galvanized to action, perhaps more than they would have been if gay marriage had stayed legal in the state. I think it had way more of an effect than we’ll probably ever know.

It’s going to be really interesting to see what happens next!

Blog Obsession of the Week: Design Sponge

I mentioned this blog yesterday, but ohmygosh, I have to mention it again.

Design Sponge is a home and product design blog that is brilliant, fun, and inspiring. I’ve been madly going through the “Before and After” section every spare chance I get. The different things people do to make their homes beautifuulll and interesting are just so cool to look at!

Reading through the blog pushed me to finally start tackling the stacks of boxes in my room and make it into place I actually want to spend time in. As I’ve mentioned before, in the last two years since I lived at home for more than a week, my parents have painted the walls (a sorta light blue color), put in wooden flooring, and installed new more environmentally-friendly windows. I didn’t ask or choose any of these changes, but they put them in anyways, and it’s their house, so, well, now I gotta deal with it, no matter what I think of it. (Is it horrible for me to say that I actually really hate wooden flooring? I think carpet is much nicer.)

The problem is- since all these changes- my room hasn’t felt like MY room. Just a place I sleep, where everything is in a different shape and the bookshelves that used to be in my brother’s room are now crammed in.

So I think I’m going to really go through all this collected junk from the last 15 or so years of my life (Reminder: I’m 21), throw away a ton, and either sell or donate a ton of all the assorted knicknacks. I’ve never thrown a garage sale but I’m terribly tempted now.

I’ve already cleared out one corner I plan on making into a little workspace. My computer is currently set up in my mom’s craft room (formerly known as my brother’s room), simply because it was the only place in the house it fit. I plan to give it back to her soon.

It’s a tiny space, but it should work well for my computer. I’ve already got the TV table set up for my computer when it’s all ready. That chair was actually found in a family attic or something- it was originally light blue, musty, and nasty. Back in junior high/high school I got it into my head to do something cool with it. I sanded it down and painted what I’m sure at the time I thought was a very pretentious artsy design. You can see uh, that my young opinion was greatly exaggerated. I’m thinking I’m going to redo it in a lime green, maybe with a little design on it.

And yes. That is a stuffed animal Ewok on the TV table. <3 Star Wars <3

There are definitely going to be more fun projects to make my room my room again- but I’ll talk about that another time. : D